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August 14, 2024

How to do Secret Santa with your Family (and why it's better)

Cartoon image shows a mother, father and a child stood next to a christmas tree

Lets start with why it's better - How christmas realistically works

If you've got a small family where everyone puts loads of effort into christmas presents and everyone is happy then this isn't for you. If not, read on.

Let's be honest, christmas is stressful and overwhelming. Buying for the kids, your siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunties, uncles... the list goes on. There's the financials of buying for so many people, the time thinking what to buy, the shopping… not even being sure what they like or being able to buy something meaningful when you are spreading yourself so thin.

You've got work, christmas parties and/or the kids are off over christmas. Getting the decorations out and up, the food shop to do, the food to cook etc. Time is tight. Money is tight. You want to get people meaningful gifts but it's so hard. You don't even know what hobbies your uncle has anymore... does he still garden?

Maybe we are assuming, you might be a great gift giver, but most aren’t. So, you are giving great presents but not having that reciprocated. Not out of malice but because everyone is overwhelmed with the stress of it all.

A better alternative

This was the position our family found ourselves in. 4 siblings to buy for, 2 partners, 2 parents. Our sister would genorously spend £50 (£400 total) on everyone and put effort into all of the gifts... others not so much.

Enter family secret santa.

Now we all buy for one person. They make a list of certain things they might want and your sole focus is buying for that one person, so you can actually focus on also buying thoughtful presents for them. So, now:

  • You buy for 1 person not 10
  • You spend £30-150 on one person (budget varies)
  • You get higher quality presents
  • Stress levels, time spent buying - much lower

It was a game changer for us at christmas and we think it could be for you. So here are the steps to getting it done.

What about little kids? Doesn't this ruin it for them?

Nope, the kids still get spoiled rotten, as they should. This is for all the adults in the family that have their own money and have too much going on to buy for 10 other people.

Step by step instructions - The essentials

1. Rally the troops, get everyone involved:

Firstly you'll have to get everyone on board, which shouldn't be too difficult after all of the reasons we've mentioned.

Top tip: We reccomend putting a message into a shared group chat asking if people would like to do a family secret santa. You can even get people to react to your message with emojis to show they are interested.

2.Set a budget and exchange date:

Agree on a spending limit, for families it can really vary from £20-100+ but it's good to set a limit to ensure everyone receives a gift of similar value. As well as setting a date to exchange gifts. If you do a family meetup then this is the perfect time.

3. Draw names

Use an online generator like our family secret santa to draw names. All you'll have to do is enter everyone's name that is participating and share the link created to everyone so they can draw their name.

4. Create wish lists:

Our platform also allows everyone to add ideas for their secret santa when they draw their name so the person buying for them has more inspiration and isn't left guessing.

We also have an application on the Google and Apple stores where you can add your friends and family to share your lists and add suggestions for other members of the family. You can download it here

5. Send out reminders:

Send out reminders to everyone a couple weeks before the exchange date to make sure no one is empty handed on the day.

6. Exchange Gifts:

The day has arrived for everyone to exchange their gifts. Hopefully that was a much less stressful, less expensive and more fun christmas. Filled with meaningful gifts all round.

Use our family secret santa designed andbbuilt with families in mind.


Check out our other guides to Secret Santa

How to make your workplace secret santa more fun

How to organise your work's secret santa to be fun and inclusive this year - 2024

Secret Santa Rules: Everything You Need to Know

How to Organize a Virtual Secret Santa